12/8/2024
I have been having a really hard time lately. I picked up a job at UPS a couple months ago but i've felt really stressed ever since then. I guess it didn't start then but it really compounded and became noticable. This girl i was with, Aundrea, who i've known/been involved with since middle school left me right before i started working. I did everything for her. I grew to where i was BECAUSE of her. And i felt so lost for a while. At this point now, i'm feeling okay and as if i'm happy with where i am, but i keep getting in trouble at work. The first time i got sent home i can't remember why. The second time i got sent home is because i was scanning packages really "slowly" and that a new guy was scanning faster than i could. I don't think i'm gonna get fired but i really hate this pressure. I really hate how these supervisors or whatever they may be above you feel they can talk to you. Speaking of, yesterday, a supervisor caught me leaning against the wall/sitting on a package with my eyes closed. He took a picture, whilst i was resting my eyes then came up to me to ask if I was tired. I told him no, that we just had a big rush and there were no trailers on. (So i had to grab everything as fast as i could and store it before trucks came, i was very tired) Then, i had simultaneously lost the scanner given to me. That day was the first day I was solo on the belt and I just ended up very tired. I was sent home, told it was unacceptable how i fell asleep and lost a scanner, I couldn't believe it. I simply just walked out i didn't even grab my backpack or anything i just walked out i walked all the way to the 7/11 near by then i called my dad and cried all the way on the ride home and tomorrow i have a meeting with some sort of boss who's gonna ask me questions and yes i'm a little scared but i think things will end up fine. I just wish i could tell aundrea about it.
12/17/2024
I got fired!! Lol. Stupid fucking supervisor acts as if he's my friend and then the day after lets me go with a "Sometimes you need to lose something good to realize what you had"; Despite my meeting with said boss going fine. They still think i fell asleep and will always run with it. I don't even want to explain what happened because that wll make me relive it and it is so damn frustrating. All aundrea has done is berate me and call me stupid pathetic say i got fired it was horrible.I don't even know why i keep going.My friend lyzie has blocked me too just because i made ab ad joke which i wouldn't have blocked her over and it just feels like no one in this world nothing in this world has any space for me any kindness any source of comfort